“Just because someone desires you does not mean they value you.” – @SlimDarskin
I saw this tweet on my timeline a couple of weeks ago and it caught my eye. I had a few thoughts I wanted to express on it, so I figured what better place than SBM. I know a whole heap of ladies read this site. Knowing this, I hope these words help some.
It’s darn near common knowledge that a lot of men can be extremely ambiguous when it comes to their intentions. A lot of ladies spend a bunch of time in this grey area trying to figure out “what are we?” Trust me, most guys have heard that question since high school. Today, I tell you that you don’t have to question yourself so much in regards to your stance with someone.
Often times a man tells you all he needs to tell you through his actions.
I’ve said a number of times that you have to listen to what a person is not saying. There should be no sort of confusion once you read someone’s actions. Men desire many things from a woman. His behavior towards you will lend itself to exactly what he’s desiring.
Pay close attention to the conversations you have and the things he remembers about you. To the ladies void of going on dates, pay attention to see if he ever proposes that you all go on one. Figure out what sort of treatment you want. It may annoy you to have to do so, but put it out there. If you want to go out sometimes, even if y’all split the bill, let it be known. Every guy doesn’t have the wherewithal to have that base covered.
If he values you, he’ll take your concerns under advisement without question.
Don’t ever get excited about attention. Attention is as simple as turning any man’s head. Time and effort correlates more with value. When a guy values you, you get a full complete feeling of what’s going on. Your texts get answered, your guy keeps you smiling, and he has interests in what makes you happy. In addition, he’ll have even more interest in what keeps you happy.
The truth is many men have formulas in their head that have shown to work.
They may desire women to solely sleep with. Under that motivation, they have their ways of going about it. This has created women who “fall” for that tactic; therefore, it gives his process some credence. These fellas find ways to get what they want through limited effort. Lies and excuses are fed while not enough attention is spent just feeling out the little things.You ladies just have to make sure a guy is into who you are versus what you are.
We all love butts and breasts….who doesn’t?
Just make sure that same dude wants to see you get your promotion, your master’s or whatever else is the case. In all things, let their be a balance. I think at the end of the day that’s the brass tacks of what I’m trying to say. Nothing works in this life without balance. If you’re not feeling a balance with someone you’re dating, then it’s simply something that should be addressed. Of course communication is paramount. If for no other reason, the more you communicate, the higher the likelihood you have to weed out the BS. You want to be valued more than desired. If you succeed, then you’re more than deserving.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops (K-Dot)is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS
“Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status
Read more at http://www.singleblackmale.org/2013/10/17/find-ride-die-letter-ladies/
#DesireVersusValue #DatingAndLoveAdvice #DatingAndLoveAdviceForWomen #DatingAndLoveAdviceForWomenFromMen #SingleBlackMaleDotOrg
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