Happy Father’s Day to the dads out there!!! I hope you get some good home cooked meals today, some great gifts, and most importantly some peace and quiet while you’re watching the game or whatever else you want to watch on television. IT’S YOUR DAY TODAY DAD!!! We love and appreciate you on this and every day.
8 FATHERHOOD QUOTES:
There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Garson O’Toole
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. ~Reed Markham
Be a dad. Don’t be "Mom’s Assistant".... Be a man.... Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping BUSINESS and you can’t dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids.... It won’t take away your manhood, it will give it to you. ~Louis C.K.
My mother PROTECTED me from the world and my father threatened me with it. ~Quentin Crisp
You will find that if you really try to be a father, your child will meet you halfway. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
“To become a father is not difficult, BUT TO BE A FATHER IS.”---kushandwisdom.tumblr.com
MORE ABOUT DAD
20 Kinds of Dads - Which One are You?
There are many stereotypes and preconceived notions about what it means to be a "Dad." In general, the perception is that Dads are default parents, or the one who is 'on-call' for times when Mom has something else to do. The truth is there are many kinds of dads - good and bad - just like there are many kinds of moms or grandparents or friends.
Here's the list of 20 Kinds of Dads:
1. The Provider - this is the stereotypical role of a father. The one who works to support his family, so that mom can focus on taking care of the kids and home.
2. The Figurehead - you are the primary decision-maker of all 'big' things regarding your family. Your position is one of authority, and the kids are often kept at arms length because it's easier to control them that way.
3. The SAHD (Stay at Home Dad) - you are the primary parent in charge of taking care of the kids.
4. The New Dad - your wife is pregnant, or you have just recently become a father for the first time.
5. The Divorced Dad - you are a part-time dad because your kids live with their mother.
6. The Single Dad - you are the primary parent by necessity. Your child's mother is gone for whatever reason, or you have chosen to adopt a child on your own. Either way, you are completely responsible for your child's well-being, growth and development
7. The Deadbeat Dad - you are a biological father only. You do not care for your kids emotionally, physically or materially. You have abandoned your role as dad, and someone should beat some sense into you. Wake up! What's wrong with you? You have failed to take responsibility for your own actions (having sex and producing a baby). You are a loser.
8. The Abuser - you are a small and pathetic man who makes himself feel better by verbally, physically or sexually abusing your child. You are selfish, sick and demented. You should never have become a father in the first place. You use subversive means to control others for your own gain and benefit. You knowingly and willingly violate the basic principles of parenthood,
9. The Doofus - you are the dad who likes to play dumb. "I don't know how to change a diaper," or "I'm not equipped to deal with teenage angst or puberty." Basically, you're a decent guy and OK dad, but you're lazy. You only do the things that you think are fun with the kids. You laugh, joke and tease, and they probably think you're a pushover. Mom does all of the heavy lifting.
10. The Disciplinarian - whether you're the primary parent or not, you are the one in charge of formally disciplining the kids. You decide and administer all punishment. As a result, the kids love and fear you. At times, you may wish that these duties were shared more with mom because its tiresome being the "bad guy" (and mom being the "nice one").
11. The Referee - you are the one in the middle between your kids and each other and/or your kids and mom. It is your job to resolve conflicts within the home. Being a man, this is not always easy, as it requires lots of empathy and excellent listening skills (neither of which are common strengths for most of us).
12. The Coach - another traditional role of dads is to be a Coach of one of your kids' teams. This is often a fun way to connect and see your kids interact in a group setting. You gain great satisfaction by teaching them to share, compete and achieve goals.
13. The Fixer - you are the master repair man of the home. You enjoy helping your kids, and it gives you great satisfaction to see the look on their face when you hand them a repaired toy, doll or bike. You make chores and work around the house fun for the kids, and they enjoy spending time helping you.
14. The Outdoorsman - you are the dad who takes the kids hiking, fishing and/or hunting. You love the outdoors, so you find lots of ways to include the kids in these activities. It gives you satisfaction teaching your kids to appreciate nature, physical activity and sportsmanship.
15. The Tech Guy - you are the dad who knows everything about computers, cell phones, digital cameras, the Internet, gaming systems and all things technological. You like to play video games with the kids, and they feel comfortable text messaging you with questions. Your kids know that you monitor their use of technology diligently, and even though you appreciate the benefits of these things, you also know that kids use of them needs to be moderated
16. The Protector - your primary concern is protecting your kids and family from things that might hurt them or negatively impact their lives. You are the kind of dad who spends a lot of time making sure the house is 'baby-proofed' and all things potentially harmful are secure and out of reach. You tell your kids often about the dangers in the world, and you assure them that you won't let anything bad happen. Your family knows they can count on your for security and protection. The problem is that you can't protect them from themselves, and this causes a considerable amount of stress in your life.
17. The Scapegoat - everything that goes wrong at home, or in the kids' lives, is your fault. You are the object of blame for the kids, and they have potentially learned this behavior from mom or other family members. You are the 'whipping boy' of the family, and you struggle with feelings of parental impotence.
18. The Deaf Ear - you are the ultimate disengaged father. Your kids talk to you, but you don't hear them. You are either self-absorbed or disinterested for a variety of reasons (depression, exhaustion, marital problems, work issues). You go through all of the motions of being a father, but you're only there in body not spirit. You love your kids, but you're not really there for them or genuinely involved in their lives. As a result, your kids drift away, rebel for attention and, oftentimes, latch on to a boyfriend or girlfriend as a substitute.
19. The Stepdad - while you are technically a dad by virtue of marriage only, you have the ability to choose to be any kind of regular dad that you want. You probably struggle with feelings of acceptance by the kids, as well as your own perception of your fatherly responsibilities. The situation is influenced by the strength of relations between the kids and their biological father, if he is involved and present or not. Either way, you are still in a parental role, and your ability to influence a child's life is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly
20. The Good Dad - you are the dad that kids love and respect; adore and honor; and, obey and follow. You know that you're not Superman, but your kids think you are. You show the kids that you genuinely care about them by being involved in every aspect of their lives. You set a good example for them in the way you treat their mother, and others, with respect and dignity. You set high expectations for your kids, but you also empower them to succeed.
There are many kinds of dad, even more than the 20 listed here. As in most walks of life, there are good and bad dads, and most of them have some of both characteristics by nature. They evolve in their role over time, as they learn from mistakes and grow through experience.
To see the whole article go to:
WHAT DOES DAD WANT?
What Dads Really Want This Father’s Day By Susan Yoo-Lee
These frugal-friendly experts offer some insight into what to get your dad.
have to say that men in general are the hardest to shop for unless you have all the money in the world to buy them their dream car like a Lamborghini Aventador or a private island where they can fish to their hearts out or act like the cave men that they really are.
Men are simple, but they’re the most difficult to shop for when you’re on a budget. Now if you put Father’s Day into the equation, things just got even harder. You can’t just get him a bouquet of flowers like mom – or maybe you can? You might have showered him with ties, wallets, pens and money clips in the past, but I’m sure dad wants a change in gifts, and so do you.
While your dad might want something new and different, he won’t be the first to come out and say what he really wants, unless of course it’s just in his personality to do so. So for the majority of us, it’s going to require some digging. In order to help you out, I reached out to some pretty influential fathers who told me what they really wanted this Father’s Day, so listen on.
Every dad is different, of course, and maybe yours will just be happy with a really heartfelt card, but if you’re in the mood to get creative, these suggestions might give you some new ideas. The good news is that many of these fathers below also have an appreciation of frugality and stretching a dollar.
Rick Broida, veteran tech writer for the Cheapskate on CNET and Savings.com: “My family knows I manage my own tech needs, so I don't bother asking for gadgety stuff. That said, in an ideal world I'd like the new OnePlus One, which is a fully loaded unlocked Android phone that's only $349 (with 64GB of storage)."
Alex Michael, co-founder of The Thrifty Couple website: “I'm a techie guy and love the gifts that keep on giving all year long. No, I'm not talking about that tie that will hang in my closet; I'm talking about a device that I can use every day, all day, and fill with my favorite music, videos and books. I'm talking about the gift all dads want – a new tablet! So what do I want this year? A Kindle Fire HDX 7" tablet! It’s even a great deal right now.”
Scott Ruf, Merchandising Manager at Zulily.com: “I think it’s always good to get a gift that serves a purpose; a gift that is either relevant to a hobby or is an item that I can do something with. I love getting gear or apparel from my favorite sports teams, tools I can use for entertaining from barbecue gear to bar equipment, or a new pair of flip flops or swim trunks. Zulily will offer great deals on Rockin’ Flip Flops on June 4 and Adidas swimwear on June 6. Dads like me will love activity-oriented gifts that won’t break the bank, but still make us feel special while spending time with the family.”
Paul Ivanovsky, Founder of I Heart the Mart: “I normally get some homemade trinkets, ties or Chia pets, which are all great. You know what would be awesome, though, is golf. I would want to go play golf, not on Father's Day but another day.”
So this Father’s Day, ditch the ties, the pins and all that other stuff that you know dad really doesn’t like all that much and get him something he can use all year long. It seems that tech items are high on many fathers’ lists, which can be a great idea for those who can afford to splurge a little. Other pricier options include buying him a day pass at a golf club or maybe a ride on a fishing boat where he can catch all the fish he desires. Remember to look at daily deal sites such as Living Social, Groupon or Amazon Local for any adventures at a huge discount and if you want to buy some goods on a great sale, check out Zulily. Have a wonderful and happy Father’s Day!
What does Dad want to eat on Father's Day? by By Judy Walker, NOLA.com and The Times-Picayune
We all know Mother's Day is the biggest day for restaurant dining in this country. But what do you do for dad on his special day?
On Father's Day (which is this Sunday, June 21) do you take him out to a steakhouse? To his favorite brunch restaurant?
Do you cook for him at home?
Or maybe he does something on the grill for you?!?
We know Louisiana men and boys are great cooks. So what are you doing with (and for) your Louisiana dad this holiday?
Thanks for sharing. The rest of us need ideas. If you do, too, here are a few starters.
New Orleans Steakhouses: The Ultimate Guide
Choose leaner cuts and you're ready for healthier grilling.
A church in Pearl River is inviting the community to their Father's Day Breakfast.
MORE ABOUT FATHERS
Manifesto of the New Fatherhood
Why fathers matter now more than ever before. A charge.
1. THE CRISIS OF FATHERHOOD IS REAL
Why fathers matter now more than ever before. A charge.
1. THE CRISIS OF FATHERHOOD IS REAL
The brute facts: The NUMBER of American families without fathers has grown from 10.3 percent in 1970 to 24.6 percent in 2013;* that percentage has more or less been stable over the past few years, at about a quarter of all families, with 17.5 million children currently fatherless in the United States. At the same time, those who are fathers, those who stay with their children, have taken on the role with an unprecedented intensity. American fatherlessness is a national disaster and, according to the latest research into its effects, more of a disaster than anybody could have imagined.
2. FATHERHOOD MEANS MORE THAN ANYBODY THINKS
The new fatherhood, and the new fatherlessness, are reshaping contemporary life, from its most intimate aspects to its most public, a mostly hidden force as powerful as it is unacknowledged. In a 2014 study of more than forty million children and their parents, researchers at Harvard and UC Berkeley examined the relationship between economic mobility and racial segregation, income inequality, school quality, social capital, and family structure. Family structure showed the strongest CONNECTION. The crisis of income inequality and the decline of social capital are the subjects of wide-ranging, furious debates. The quality of schools is the main subject of almost all local politics. Family structure matters more. From the report: "Family structure correlates with upward mobility not just at the individual level but also at the community level, perhaps because the stability of the social environment affects children's outcomes more broadly."
Fatherlessness significantly affects suicide, incarceration risk, and mental health. The new fatherhood is not merely a lifestyle question. Fathers spending time with their children results in a better, healthier, more EDUCATED, more stable, less criminal world. Exposure to fathers is a public good.
3. THE ATTENTION OF FATHERS IS IRREPLACEABLE
A single small but vital fact distinguishes men of the past fifty years from all other men in history: Most of us see our children being born. It's one of those changes to everyday life that we take for granted but that have the most radical consequences. Up until the mid-1960s, the mysteries of birth were mainly the preserve of women. Then, suddenly, they weren't. Men insisted on being with their wives as they gave birth, and with their children as they came into the world. Of all the grand upheavals between men and women over the past two generations—the sexual revolution, the rise of women in the workplace, and the rest—the new fatherhood has been, in a way, the easiest. Despite no historical examples of male nurturers, no literature of the macho caretaker, men have taken to the new fatherhood in all its fleshiness and complication without much struggle, INDEED with relish. Today the overcaring father has morphed into a mockable cliché—you've seen them comparing stroller models at the playgrounds, or giving baby a bottle in a bar during the Final Four, or discussing the latest studies on the merits of early music education for "executive function." The new father is an engaged father by instinct. Witnessing birth was the beginning of a widening intimacy. The new father holds his babies. He bathes them. He reads to them. The new father knows that the role of the father is not merely to provide food and shelter. The role of the father is to be there, physically and mentally.
This intimacy is instinctive, and research into the development of children has shown how powerful a force it is. The National Scientific Council on the Developing Child puts the strength of early impressions on a biological LEVEL: "We have long known that interactions with parents, caregivers, and other adults are important in a child's life, but new evidence shows that these relationships actually shape brain circuits and lay the foundation for later developmental outcomes, from academic performance to mental health and interpersonal skills." The presence of a father affects a kid on the level of brain chemistry.
Working fathers are reckoning with the consequences of these new insights. A 2013 study from Pew Research found that men and women found nearly identical levels of meaning in childcare. The problem of work-life balance isn't just for women anymore, and the father who works eighty-hour weeks because his job is so important is no longer seen as something to aspire to. He's pitiable. The fact that women are increasingly breadwinners has opened up new options for some—the stay-at-home dad has changed from sitcom-worthy freak into the subject of endless lazy trend pieces—but even men who have power are finding new strategies. Sigmar Gabriel, the vice-chancellor largely responsible for dismantling the nuclear-power industry of Germany—a big job—has decided to take Wednesday afternoons off to spend with his young daughter. "The only luxury is time, the time you spend with your family." This is not the QUOTE of a family-values Republican senator. That's Kanye West talking.
4. FAMILY POLICY MUST BECOME ACTUAL FAMILY POLICY
The majority of two-parent American families have men and women who work, and men and women are increasingly sharing the childcare load.13 That reality—basic domestic egalitarianism—is for the most part treated as a surprising novelty, as news. And not just by op-ed writers. By TAX law. By the courts. (Men pay 97 percent of alimony3 although women EARN the majority of the income in 40 percent of families.12) The major institutions in American life are playing catch-up with a fifty-year-old development in home life—women are EARNING MORE MONEY in more families all the time, and fathers are vital to the well-being of the children involved.
Fatherhood is taking on a political imperative: Every American man deserves a chance to spend time with his children without being fired. Every American child deserves a chance to spend time with his or her father without being impoverished.
5. THE NEW FATHERHOOD BELONGS TO NEITHER PARTY
The Republicans smell an opportunity in the new research on the family but don't quite know what to do with it. This January, in a marquee speech on poverty, Florida senator Marco Rubio put the family at the center of his economic policy: "The truth is the greatest tool to lift children and families from poverty is one that decreases the probability of child poverty by 82 percent. But it isn't a government spending PROGRAM. It's called marriage." The Republicans are right this time. But they have so far used their new appreciation of fatherlessness to do little more than launch broadsides against various something-nothings of culture and to reject the idea that public policy can have any effect on the family whatsoever. For them, the new fatherhood is mostly an excuse for inaction.
If Republicans looked more closely at the consequences of fatherlessness, it might OFFER them new insight into a host of policies: Immigration reform is vital because the current policies destroy families. At the current rate of deportation, about a thousand undocumented immigrants are deported on average each day.5 By one estimate, the current U. S. immigration policy will separate more than 150,000 children from one of their parents.9 Now that we know how deeply family structure matters, that NUMBER can only be regarded as a social and economic catastrophe. The drug war, by punishing African-Americans at nearly four times the rate of whites for marijuana-possession offenses,1 amounts to cultural genocide. A few Republicans who actually DEAL with the fallout of government policies on families' lives, like governors Rick Perry and Chris Christie, have recognized the cost of these disastrous policies. Both have spoken about ending the drug war. It's a start.
Democrats, too, are making a tentative start. In February, the president announced a private-public partnership, the My Brother's Keeper initiative, a first step toward addressing the problem of minority boys through mentoring PROGRAMS. At the announcement, President Obama said: "Nothing keeps a young man out of trouble like a father who takes an active role in his son's life." It's typical "American families" boilerplate, of course. But the data show that it's actually true as a matter of policy, and not just for minority boys but for all boys. The Brother's Keeper initiative is a gesture, an important one—possibly a trial balloon?—but a small one.
For the president, a family-based approach to inequality clearly smells rotten. It has the aura of a host of outmoded prejudices many on the Left have spent their entire CAREERS fighting against. Democrats prefer to focus on the traditional approaches of grievance politics, with the emphasis on class structures and race. But the most powerful way to alter those inequities is through family structure.
6. FATHERS ARE PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT FOR BOYS
It has now been more than a decade since Christina Hoff Sommers wrote her landmark book, The War Against Boys. Boys have not lacked for articulate defenders since—dozens of titles have followed—but the fate of boys has not improved. Every stage of their lives is fraught. The DIAGNOSIS rate for ADHD is as high as 15.1 percent for American boys, a percentage more than two times the rate for girls.10 Boys are expelled from preschool nearly five times as often as girls.15 In elementary and secondary school, boys get D's and F's at more than three times the rate of girls. On twelfth-grade standardized tests, 28 percent of boys score below basic LEVELS in writing (it's 14 percent for girls), and 31 percent of boys are below basic levels in reading (it's 20 percent for girls).11 The gap in the high-school-dropout rate persists even as the general rate of dropouts declines.3 Across grades four, eight, and twelve, boys write at lower levels than girls.11 Boys' juvenile-arrest rate is more than two times what it is for girls. Boys are 71 percent of juvenile offenders.6 Boys are twice as likely to be threatened with a weapon in high school.2
Maturity and despair go together for boys. Between ages ten and fourteen, boys are about twice as likely to kill themselves. Between fifteen and nineteen, they are almost four times as likely. From twenty to twenty-four, almost five times.2 Women account for 56.5 percent of all undergrad enrollments. And women account for nearly 60 percent of bachelor's and MASTER'S DEGREES.11 So what happens in the future? What happens when the category of "man" is synonymous with the category of "uneducated," which is synonymous with the category of "failure"?
Fear is the first response to the crisis, rife even among boys' defenders, and after the fear comes the blame, two brands of it, right wing and left wing. The War Against Boys was explicitly a critique of feminism. "Boys" were the new "girls," limited and despised by a generalized misandry, a politically CORRECT fury that in its zeal to tear down the patriarchy simply forgot that men are people. On the other side, Michael Kimmel, in books like 2008's Guyland and last year's Angry White Men, has argued that the residue of patriarchy drives young men to despair and self-destruction. The old codes, the macho, the defensive response to a changing world, "the ideology of traditional masculinity that keeps boys from wanting to succeed," in his phrase, are the primary culprits.
The boy is now an alien among us, brittle but also violent. But you don't have to look far back to find other responses. Not so long ago, boys and boyishness were the ideals of society. On the walls of the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan are written the hopes Teddy Roosevelt had for the boys of his era: "I want to see you game, boys, I want to see you brave and manly, and I also want to see you gentle and tender." Boys were strong but also sentimental—the way the war office convinced them to go to war in the early twentieth century was through their ATTACHMENT to their sisters and mothers. The boy, for most of the history of the twentieth century, represented the best of humanity.
Sommers and Kimmel are both right: The men lost without a patriarchy and the men lost in guyland are the same men. The bridge to manhood has two spans: Give boys and men a way to be proud to be boys and men, in ORDER that they can then understand that being a man is an ongoing, difficult, complicated undertaking. It's not just that the boys' crisis requires a complex response. Complexity is the response. And the best way to give that complexity, to demonstrate that masculinity requires strength and vulnerability, is by the presence of a father or a father figure. Children raised by SINGLE parents are at a greater risk for drug and alcohol abuse.4 Boys are more than twice as likely to be arrested,6 more likely to drop out of high SCHOOL,3 at least twice as likely to commit suicide.2
7. THE CRUCIAL INSTITUTIONS ARE IN RUINS
The father figures have, one by one, been torn down. They have torn themselves down. Male authority figures, for generations, were given a FREE pass, an unexamined prerogative. They abused it. Some of them still abuse it. The past fifty years have been consumed with the destruction of various patriarchies. But the crisis of today is not the handful of monsters who infect the institutions. The crisis is the 17.5 million fatherless children3 with an absence in their souls. There is no cure for fatherlessness. There are only salves. The fatherless world needs substitute fathers, men who are willing to care about the lives of children who aren't their own. The problem isn't bullying coaches. The problem is all the men who aren't coaching. The problem isn't the various inevitable failures of the men who show up. The problem is the men who don't show up.
The evils of a few have overshadowed the good of many. The coaches and priests and TEACHERS are not the enemies of civil society but its creators.
8. THE NEW FATHERHOOD ISN'T THE OLD PATRIARCHY
The old fatherhood was a series of unexpressed assumptions. The new fatherhood requires intelligence. It requires judgment. The new fatherhood is messy. It will have to be. In the face of this messiness, there are men, and not just a few, either, who retreat into fantasies of lost idylls, worlds where men were men, whatever that might have meant. Kimmel's work is full of them, guys who wallow in an "aggrieved entitlement." The new father is not so shallow nor so old-fashioned. Only the truly lost man would want to return to his grandfather's way of life. Who would want to go back to the BAD FOOD, the boring sex, the isolation? Who would want to be financially responsible for a family and then never see them? The new fatherhood is a huge gain for men, the chance for a deeper intimacy, a whole new range of pleasures and agonies, a fuller version of our humanity.
9. THE AMERICAN FATHER IS A PRECIOUS RESOURCE
At the heart of the new fatherhood is a somewhat surprising insight: Men, as fathers, are more crucial than anybody realized. The changing American father is transforming the country at all LEVELS, from the most fundamental to the most ethereal, economically, socially, politically. The epidemic of fatherlessness and the new significance men place on fatherhood point to the same clandestine truth: The world, it turns out, does need fathers.
DADS THROUGH THE AGES: A HISTORY
Fatherhood changes with the times, and wasn’t always as we’ve believed it to be. Adrienne Burgess shows how fatherhood was shaped through culture and economics (mainly in Northern Europe) and how it CONTINUES to shape YOU as a father. And we ask: “how new is ‘new’ dad?
Hunter Gatherer Dad
We tend to believe that, in primitive communities, men and fathers hunted away long distance for most of the time, while mothers and grandmothers foraged LOCALLY and looked after the children
This was only true in a minority of tribes; but in many, fathers were very present most or even all of the time. In some, both sexes hunted and foraged together locally and in these there often developed a culture of pride among men that they were close to their children.
In primitive communities, it is dangerous for babies to crawl or toddle around OPEN fires, stone or earth floors, deadly insects and reptiles) so they must be carried a lot. We know that fathers did and do this in some communities, and it is likely that they did/do it many.
In some communities – mainly warlike ones - there is strong cultural pressure for men NOT to be involved with babies and young children; in others that is not at all the case. Nor, just because there is cultural pressure, do all fathers do what they’re told.
As Christianity and, later, ‘rationalism’, took hold across Europe, fathers were instructed to be the detached leaders within families. However, again many fathers didn’t do as they were told, and what went on in families was often very different!
In Northern Europe (it was different in the Mediterranean and in other parts of the world) fathers have long been key partners in the parenting team. This was because
large extended families, all living in the one place, were not the norm until the late 19th Century
grandparents often died before grandchildren were born.
there was much migration round the country, so local neighbourhood networks were often disrupted
women usually had ‘trades’ (weaving, brewing) and there is evidence that even quite EDUCATED fathers cared for children and did housework to leave the women free to work
As an example of routine ‘fathercare’, look at this lullaby (written down in 1805)
Hush thee, my baby
Lie still with thy daddy, Thy mammy has gone to the mill To grind thee some wheat To make thee some meat (this meant bread) Oh my dear babby lie still
Rural life was regulated by daylight. In winter fathers could only be away from the lighted house or cottage for a few hours. In summer the whole family often worked together in the fields. Winter and summer, very many fathers were highly AVAILABLE to their children.
Even in wealthy families, children often slept with their parents: the ‘nursery in the attic’ didn’t appear in architecture until the later 19th century
Custody of children after formal/informal DIVORCE often went to fathers; and since 8% of mothers died in childbirth, many more men than women were lone parents I is estimated that between 1599-1811, 24.1% of children lived in lone father households, compared with 1.3% today!
As the industrial revolution developed in England, in some districts mothers and children worked in factories – and dads were stay-at-home carers.
Later, the most important thing that happened to fathers was that they started working away, sometimes far away, from their homes.
Into the 20th Century this trend CONTINUED with ‘commuting’ becoming part of most fathers’ lives
Women began to take over ‘traditional’ fathers’ tasks – such as EDUCATING children. Not only were fathers spending less time with their children, but they gradually becoming ‘de-skilled’
Imperialism and ongoing wars, including two world wars, meant that all men had to be an army-and-workforce in waiting’, ready to leave their families at a moment’s notice. Many children lost their fathers, or dads who returned kept silent about their experiences. Communication with children could suffer
21st Century Dad
With women achieving so much at work, in the armed forces, in politics, gender roles are up for grabs and men are BEGINNING to feel proud of their involvement at home and keen to do more of it.
Men’s leisure time is also increasingly located at home, rather than outside of it – so home is no longer so much the women’s domain
Increasing home working and flexible working mean some fathers are getting to spend more time with their children - even though working hours are long
In some districts, as in the early Industrial Revolution, there are more jobs ‘for women’ than men; and in some families women are earning more than men, so the NUMBER of home-dads is increasing again
Adult children are living further away from their parents, so dads are key to the child-rearing team
‘New dad’ in – in terms of more men spending more time caring for babies and young children – is more visible and more common: but in all eras there have a been these highly involved fathers that we call ‘new dads’!
- See more at: http://www.dad.info/fatherhood/being-dad/dads-through-the-ages-a-history#sthash.SoYqmJhJ.XwVzqHKN.dpuf